Isn't a wedding story confined to the day of the wedding? How do you get access to information?
Mark Ellis asked: How often do you get push back on talking to other people before hand? I mean, here's the thing -- we've all been to weddings where Mom, Dad, Best Man, MOH get up and tell some history about the couple and it's slightly, if not totally, embarrassing for one or both bride and groom. However, in that context those "stories" become acceptable as a part of the record of what happened and a clever edit can clean them up and keep them from being a future embarrassment -- to kids and grandkids, etc. I can envision some brides getting upset about or wanting to approve before hand any "stories" we hear in an interview. The tape playing in my head is something along the lines of, "She told you that! OMG -- don't ever bring that up in front of [groom] that's so embarrassing?"Have you run across this? How did you handle it? Isn't the wedding story confined to the "day" and what happens in the getting ready, the trappings of the public declaration, the emotion of the moment realized, and the celebration that follows?
There are a number of reasons why it's important to spend time listening and getting to know a couple before the wedding day. Listening, including gathering various perspectives, empowers you with more information about the story, the ability to cross-check information, and bring you closer to their "truth." This understanding helps you to make more informed—stronger—and more story relevant decisions as the Storyteller.
But it's also an opportunity to develop a real relationship with your couple—to develop a friendship and build trust and rapport.
From our very first phone call, email, or other point of contact with the bride and/or groom, we are very intentional about setting expectations and setting the tone in every interaction we have. We lead with our why, and we share how we want to create a story for them that doesn't just capture a day, but captures who they are and the true nature of their relationship, which is a whole lot more lasting and meaningful than just the ceremony.
When the couple understands how invested we are in the story, how we connect to them, and understands that we actually care about them as people, then you'd be surprised how much access that gives us to story-relevant information we need, and how much trust and confidence we gain as the Storyteller. In this way, we don't really have the issue of needing approval from a bride about what her friends share with us or not. She trusts that we'll only highlight what is strong and relevant to the story, which means what is strong and relevant to who she is.
And while we don't always share Keywords with our bride and groom, we do always have the option of having the couple approve our Keywords before production, which likewise bolsters confidence and trust that our creative decisions will align with our shared vision and purpose of the story.
So again, we strive to make stories about the couple—about the people—rather than the wedding day. And if it's a story about the people, not just the ceremony, then that means it may exist before or after the actual wedding day itself.